Reading through my blog you will notice that there are a lot of stories from my time in college. This isn’t because I have some great love for my time there, but rather because I had a lot of strange experiences when in college. Every year around this time I am reminded of a very specific and odd event that I always thought I should write about.
It was the end of August and I had signed up for an Anatomy class. This class is infamously hard and comes as two parts, the first is the lecture and the second part is the labs. The labs are where the class dissects a human cadaver throughout the 12-week course. Well, after about a month of being in this class it was pretty clear that cutting up bodies was not for everyone. Forgetting for a moment that you are dissecting a human, everything else about the lab was pretty terrible too. You had to be careful where you set your bag down because everything was coated in a disinfectant that, to quote one of the teacher-aids who actually runs the lab “That stuff will melt the soles of your shoes if you stood in here too long!” I don’t know if that is true, but all of the aids wore the same kind of shoes.
But, as bad as that was, there was nothing worse than the smell. It’s not the smell of bodies, although that was very distasteful, it was the smell of all the chemicals. The formaldehyde was so strong that I would leave there every week just feeling sick. The best way that I can describe how overwhelmingly terrible this smell was is by quoting an email from the class professor “Really, everyone should be wearing half mask respirators” …
After the second month there the class was getting much smaller, and soon the lab only had about 18 people, down by more than half. Well, one day I was working in the back of the room with a small group when suddenly we heard a loud crash. I remember the sound being very specific, almost as if someone had just roundhouse kicked the appendicular skeleton that was in the room. All of us looked around but couldn’t tell what had actually happened.
However, on the other side of the room where the sound came from, every face was staring down in complete shock. No one moved and no one made a sound. It was pretty clear to me that something was not right, so I started to walk through the group of people gesturing for them to move out of my way. Following the eyes of the other students I looked down to see that the noise had been a student fainting and he had indeed fallen on the skeleton on his way to the ground. I sprinted over to him and grabbed his arm; I didn’t know his name but he was a large fellow. Checking his pulse, I started to sternly shout “Hey! Hey buddy! You have to wake up! Come on. Wake up!” After a few seconds he opened his eyes and they were spinning.
The room around us was silent, but when his eyes opened one of the teacher aids came up to us and said “We have to get him to his feet.” I assume this was because of the pure poison that apparently they mop the floor with and I otherwise would have agreed, but it was pretty obvious to me that this guy was not going to be able to stand yet. The aid started to pick him up, clearly overestimating his own ability to lift a limp 220-pound body. “Wait!” I said “Don’t lift him yet.” The aid looked at me and started to ask why when at that moment, just as I expected, the guy passed out again. Once more I started speak to him in a firm voice “Come on buddy! Time to go! Let’s go! Get up!” Again, he opened his eyes and I could tell that this time was a bit better as his eyes didn’t seem to be actively spinning. He stood up but he was shaky, really shaky. I told him to put his arm around me and that we are going to walk towards the door. He did as he was told and we shambled to the fresh air outside.
It seemed to me that all he really needed was to be away from either the fumes, or the bodies and the best place for that was the shade in the grass. We walked over and he immediately dropped to his knees and rolled onto his back, putting his arms over his eyes. He started to mumble something and I looked back at the aid who was standing 5-feet behind us with a shocked look on his face. Having not heard him I leaned in closer “I need a drink” he said. I told him to wait there and jogged back into the lab. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that no one had moved an inch. They all looked up at me in shock as I walked over to my backpack and removed a bottle of water and headed back towards the door. Finally, one of the other aids asked me if he was going to be alright. I really didn’t know why he fainted in the first place, but I figured that he would be okay away from the fumes. But even if he wasn’t, what could these people do? I simply nodded as I walked out.
When I got back to the guy he was at least sitting up. He took the water and drank all of it. I stayed with him and he told me that he didn’t know why he fainted. I told him that I assume it was because of the formaldehyde, that stuff is just terrible. He agreed and we sat there until he felt good enough to get his bag and leave for the day. All-in-all it was a very strange afternoon.
That night it got even worse.
When I got home, I saw that I had an email from that professor. I was surprised and apprehensive about this because he was not a nice man and I figured that anything he wrote would reflect his brash personality. When reading the email, it was clear in the first sentence that this was not a friendly message.
He started out by telling me that when the student fainted it was not my responsibility to get involved and that by doing so, I interfered with those who were much more capable. He informed me that his aids were medically trained and that any student who couldn’t handle the fumes should wear a respirator and any student who couldn’t handle the bodies should not be in his class in the first place. He ended his email by informing me that my presence there surely did more damage than good.
I wanted to write him back and inform him that I did not see anyone who was ‘more capable’ and that he must be referring to his other aids as being medically trained, because that is not what I witnessed. But also, if we should be wearing masks, why aren’t we? Why are we only hearing about this now? Lastly, I wanted to inform him that I highly doubt that the student in question thinks I did more damage than good and that his email was the silliest thing I have ever seen a grown man say.
I wanted to say all of this, but I have a firm rule against arguing with crazy or stupid, so I let it go.
The next week when I walked into the lab, I was met at the door by the aid who came outside with us. He reached out and shook my hand and told me that he was happy I was there. I didn’t see the student in question in the labs again, but I did see him in the lecture where he found me, sat down next to me and introduced himself. His name was David, and we never spoke about what happened.
I have never been sure if I did something that was right, wrong or even just irrelevant. But I know this: If I passed out in a room because of noxious fumes, I would definitely want someone to drag me to safety.
As Random As Random Gets 