Mean Little Girls

There is an interesting phenomena that I have seen a few times in my life that I thought I would share with you. On multiple occasions I have heard mothers tell stories about their teenaged daughters being unkind, but in a good way. Sometimes, even going so far as to refer to them as bitches, but saying it as if it were a desirable trait that they aimed for when raising the child.

Let me give you a real life example of this that a woman told me about a day that she spent with her daughter. “We went to a soccer game and on the end of our bench there was an older couple. We had to walk past them to get to our seats, and the old couple stood up and let us pass. We ended up having to go past them two more times, but on the last time the older man wouldn’t get up at all. We had to squeeze our way by. So, in passing my daughter gave him a hip nudge and hit his drink with her big butt and spilled it on him. She is such a bitch, I love her.”

Now, in this story the daughter was 15 years old, but what is really strange about it was that a normal person, you or I, would have thought “oh, perhaps this older gentleman cannot get up. Perhaps he is physically not able to stand a third time.” But to these two, their thought was that he was being spiteful towards them and deserved to have his drink spilled on him.

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but wouldn’t a person want their daughter to be kind, nice and loveable? Why have times changed so much that now the desired feature that a mother craves in her child is for her to be unkind?

Want to know what I think? I think that most little girls model themselves after their mothers and that mother really feels shame for this trait, but pretends that she is proud of it in an attempt to justify the fact that she was just a bad mother.