There is an important series of lessons that every person from my state learns about snow… generally the hard way. I live in Utah and we are known for having “The Greatest Snow on Earth”. Since people come from all over the world to ski here, I don’t think many can argue with that.
Lesson 1) Snow is Unpredictable: A Utah snowfall is not always the ‘let’s go build a snowman and have a cup of hot chocolate’ kind of snow. A Utah snowfall can knock out whole cities for days on end. My story takes place in 1997 in a town about 20 miles from Salt Lake City. Now, in this particular year, we had a snow storm that lasted for 3 days and snowed 58 inches (147.32 cm)… that’s just under 5 feet.
Lesson 2) Snow is Heavy: Although this was odd, it was not completely unheard of, we are on the Rocky Mountains after all. However, on the third day we had a neighbor come by my house and tell us that one of our other neighbors had so much snow on their roof that it has almost collapsed. We really didn’t think much of it until my brother came down stairs and told us all that he could actually hear the ceiling creaking from the weight of the snow.
Lesson 3) Snow is Hard Work to Remove: We knew we had to act fast, but none of us had a clue what to do… I should point out that in 1997 the internet was young and not really used for anything other than… well… it was not used for this. So, we started brainstorming. Our ideas were not exactly plausible. For example: I remember one idea was to get a wooden 2×4, tie a rope around it, then throw it on the roof and pull it down over and over. Sounds like a pretty good idea, right? Keep in mind that I was 13 years old and weighed 95 pounds, throwing a board onto the roof was just asking for disaster… that and we didn’t have a 2×4.
Lesson 4) Snow Causes a False Sense of Confidence: Finally I got it. I will just carefully climb up there and shovel the snow off of the roof… we really didn’t have many other choices here. So, I put on all of my gear and climbed through a window into the cold. I tunneled my way through 4 feet of snow to the peak of the A-Frame roof with my shovel in hand and started to push the snow down. For the most part it would slide down without a fight, but a remaining 6-8 inches was sticking to the shingles. However, after clearing a large patch of snow I was feeling pretty confident up there and decided that I might as well keep going until I got it all off.
Lesson 5) Snow is slippery: Finally, it started to happen! I started to slowly slide downwards. I was still standing on my feet but knew that I was in trouble. I decided that the best thing to do was to start to walk back to the window. I took one step and started to slide faster. Finally I knew I was going down and instinctively drop to my side. I started to pick up speed and hit the powder at the end of the roof that I was yet to shovel. My goal was to jam my foot into the gutter in hopes of stopping myself, but this, like so many other plans I had that day, did not work.
Lesson 6) Powder is Only Powder While it Remains Undisturbed: Feet first I flew off of the roof and landed on top of my mother’s car (which was covered with snow). I was completely engulfed but was not hurt. Now, if you have never been completely engulfed in powder snow then I encourage you to refer back to lesson 6. Powder only has a little give before it becomes a solid wall. And since my head was near the ground, my back, I guessed, was on the bumper of the car and my legs were on the hood I was unable to move at all.
Bonus Lesson) Mom’s Think They Are Funnier Than They Actually Are: After a bit of a panic I heard the voice of my mother calling to me. She must have heard me ‘Yelp’ while falling through the air.
“Ben? Bennnnn? Hellllloooooo!” she called out.
“I am here.” I yelled back.
“Are you making snow angels?” She asked.
Imaging the odd imprint that my body must have left in the snow made me start to laugh.
“Am I dead?” I asked her.
“I will go get your bother.” She said as she left me to my thoughts.
Lesson 7) Snow is NOT to be Underestimated: As I waited for my rescue I had to admit… The snow won this fight, and if the snow wanted to sit on the roof, then that is what it was going to do. Because as I said, everyone in Utah eventually learns these lessons. You can throw snow, you can make it into men or angels but ultimately it is not to be underestimated.
I hope you all have a good and snowy Holiday Season!
As Random As Random Gets 